“Please don’t get me wrong, Ryan. I love your body. You have a very nice body.” Cindi assures me.
I sense a “but” somewhere.
“Thank you, Cindi. But I think you’ve just let the cat out of the bag.”
Cindi strokes my thigh and works up to my scrotum. I think now is the best time to talk about something like this. And believe it or not, we still haven’t had “sex” yet. Am I still a virgin, or does oral sex count as actual sex (insert your own presidential joke here)?
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t think you’re small down there. I’m serious.”
“Look, you don’t have to be nice to me. I don’t think I’m tiny, but I know for a fact that I’m not big. You at least have to admit that.”
Cindi kisses me on the shoulder and starts to rub up and down my flaccid shaft. It shows no signs of life.
“Let’s not talk about this.”
“I sort of…do want to talk about this. It’s a major insecurity of mine.”
“Yes. We’ve all heard the stereotype, right?”
I look straight into Cindi’s dark black eyes. She stops stroking me and understands this is a “serious” conversation. Cindi sighs.
“That Asian men have small penises?”
“Yes. That stereotype.”
“It hurts, doesn’t it?”
“Very much. It hurts deeply. But not in a way that makes me angry. In a way that makes me feel…less of a man.”
This revelation causes Cindi to hug me tightly. The feel of her strong arms wrapping around my body sends shivers down my spine. I wonder if she can feel that.
“You’re a man. There’s no doubt about it. You’re definitely a man. You’re more of a man than a lot of men I’ve met.”
“Really? How so?”
“I’ve met hundreds of male bodybuilders in my life. Most of them are very nice, but some can be total douchebags. When I work out at the gym, I hear what guys talk about. There’s so much sexism in weight rooms.”
I nod my head in agreement. “Tell me about it. At the gym I work at, I meet tons of guys who are total jerks. I don’t talk to them.”
Cindi massages my shoulders with her strong hands. I feel my penis start to come to life, but I still need some more time.
“But you’re different, Ryan. You’re kind, respectful, smart, funny and the total opposite of a douchebag.”
“Thank you. I try to be nice.”
“That’s why I invited you up here to my home. That’s why I felt comfortable to take you to my bed. From the moment I saw you at the coffee shop, you looked like a nice boy. You’re someone I can talk to without having to be someone else.”
“Someone else? Who else can you be?”
“It’s complicated, but for a female bodybuilder like me, you have to take on several personalities. You have to be strong, but feminine. You have to be tough, but nurturing. You have to be muscular, but still sexy. You have to be strong-willed, but still approachable. That sort of thing.”
“Is there a lot of pressure for FBBs to act a certain way?”
The question causes Cindi to fall to her back and stretch out. The sight of her eight-pack abs lying right beside me is enough to make my penis half-engorged.
“Oh, I could write a whole book on that subject. We’ll save that for another day.”
Cindi releases another sigh and I lie down on my side and stroke her abs. I admire her chiseled body like it’s a piece of valuable art. As far as I’m concerned, her body is art.
“Do you mind if I ask you a personal question, Cindi?”
She purrs like a cat as I stroke her tummy. I think she appreciates my appreciation of all her long, hard hours working out at the gym.
“Go for it. In this room, there are no such things as personal questions. This is a no-bullshit zone.”
“Alright.” I let out a sigh of my own. “Does size really matter?”
The look on Cindi’s face changes from mellow to full-of-concern. It appears she’s struggling to find the proper words to answer my question.
“Yes. Honestly. I want to know your opinion.”
“For me, size does matter,” Cindi finally says.
My mouth forms a defensive smile. Inside I feel like I want to scream bloody murder.
Cindi gets up and wraps her muscular arms around me again. She kisses my shoulder again (this is a move she’s done a few times before. What’s with her and kissing shoulders?)
“Yeah. Size does matter for me. Do you want to know more?”
“Yes. As unusual as that sounds, I do want to know more. Do you not want to share?”
“No, no. I have nothing to hide. I’m perfectly willing to share anything. Well, I’ve had many sex partners, both men and women. As far as men are concerned, the best sex I’ve ever had was with men who were, more, uh, better endowed.”
“Uh huh.” This is my cue for her to continue speaking. She takes the hint.
“One lover of mine, his name was Jake, was a fellow bodybuilder. He was a natural bodybuilder who competed at a lot of the same shows as me. We became casual friends after a few encounters and quickly became lovers. He was gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. He was tall, muscular, handsome as a movie star and gentle as a can be. We made love constantly.”
“How long were you in a relationship with him?”
“A long time. About eleven years. He’s the father of my third child.”
“Were you close to marrying him?”
“Very close. We were briefly engaged, before I caught him with another woman. His ex. Apparently, he hadn’t completely gotten over her. That was eleven years down the drain.”
“But you had a child with him.”
“True, so I suppose there were benefits. But he was a beautiful man, even though he broke my heart.”
I quickly change the subject.
“So…he was a good lover?”
“Yes! He was obviously beautifully built, but even more impressive was his penis. God, it was gorgeous. That penis was a work of art.”
“How big was it?”
“We measured him one time. Fully erect, he was seven and a half inches long.”
Seven and a half inches long? Holy shit!!!
“That’s…big. Very big. I’m not nearly as big.”
Ironically, it was at this moment that my erection returned. Right on schedule. Cindi sees it and strokes it tenderly. What was she thinking as she stroked my small penis? Was she longing for the days when Jake was ramming his mammoth manhood into her?
“Don’t worry about that. You’re fine. Just fine.”
“How do you know? We haven’t had sex yet.”
Cindi kisses me on the lips and cups my face. She looks directly into my eyes.
“Darling, don’t compare yourself to others. Ever. You’re a beautiful man, regardless of how you measure up to other guys. Size isn’t the only thing that’s important during sex.”
Size isn’t the only thing that matters? Was she being serious or was she lying? I had to know.
“What else is important?”
Sensing my insecurity, Cindi kisses my neck (wow, she can kiss me all day and I’d never complain!) before she speaks. Her face expresses concern, respect and oddly, love.
“First, love has to be there. And I don’t necessarily mean love between life partners, or soul mates, or anything like that. Love between two people.”
“Do you sense that type of love between us?”
“Strangely enough, yes I do. I do sense a certain type of love between us. Do you respect me?”
“I have nothing but respect for you.”
“Good. I respect you as well. Do you want me to be happy?”
“Everyone deserves happiness.”
“Great. I want you to be happy too.”
I kiss her lips. She kisses me back. Her left hand strokes my penis as her right hand interlocks with mine. My free hand starts to rub her enormous clitoris.
“In that case, we do love each other. We’re lovers.”
I laugh. “That’s funny considering we just met each other.”
“It is funny, but do you feel that special feeling for me?”
I think about it for a moment. The more I thought about it, the more I understood what she was saying. I do feel a degree of affection for her. Cindi North, a female bodybuilder, is a woman I am falling in love with. How can this be?
“Yes, I feel that special feeling toward you. Lover.”
Maybe it was the way I said the word “lover,” but Cindi looks very touched and a single tear falls down her cheek. I wipe it away and taste it. She tastes sweet.
“I want to make love to you, Cindi,” I whisper in her ear.
Did I just say that? Did that just come out of my mouth? As if she’d just been hit in the stomach with a sledgehammer, Cindi kisses me on the cheek and stands up.
“Not tonight. Not tonight. Maybe next time,” she says.
“Did I do something wrong?” I feebly ask.
“No, not at all. I just think we should hold off on that until later. It’s just that…we’ve done enough for one night. We don’t want to use up all our tricks at once, right?”
I ponder about what she’s telling me. If she’s implying that there’s going to be a “later,” does that mean she likes me? Or at the very least, does this mean she tolerates me and wants to see me again? And why did she just suddenly get up? Is she falling in love with me too? I’m starting to have feelings for her, which makes no sense. We just met. Life can be so complicated!
“Do you want to see me again?” I meekly ask her.
“The better question is: do you want to see me again?” she replies.
“Yes, Cindi. No doubt about it. I definitely want to see you again!”
“Good,” Cindi says, getting up and putting on her panties. It’s amazing how such a small piece of clothing can fit around her enormously tight butt. “I have to be at the gym tomorrow at 9 a.m. sharp. My weight training partner will be waiting for me.”
I take the hint and start to put my clothes back on. I marvel at Cindi as she stretches in front of a tall mirror. The marvelous structure of her amazing body will never get old to look at. I could stare at her lovely figure all day if I could. But, alas, my time tonight has come to an end.
“Who’s your training partner?”
“One of my best friends. Her name is Julie.”
“Is she the one who took the picture of you at the beach?”
“You mean the photo I sent you? Yes, she did. How’d you know?”
“A wild guess,” I say, now fully dressed. Cindi puts on a white silk bathrobe and escorts me out the door. My erection subsides.
As we walk down the stairs, I look up at a clock and see it’s nearing 11 p.m. Gee, where did the time go? Cindi takes me back to the living room and turns toward me.
“Did you have a good time?” she asks.
“Despite my, uh, unflattering beginning, yes. I did have a good time. Did you?”
“I had a great time. It’s been a while since a man has pleased me orally.”
“When was the last time a woman pleased you orally?” I ask jokingly.
Cindi laughs and snorts. She’s cute when she snorts, I’ve decided.
“You’d be surprised, Ryan honey. Do you need help finding your way home?”
“Nah, I can figure it out on my own. It’s just a bunch of backtracking.”
Neither of us says anything for a moment. We both know what needs to come next. Finally, she speaks.
“Do you want to come back here next Saturday night? You can come earlier and we could do dinner. I’ll make something nice and healthy.”
“Yes! That sounds great. When would be a good time?”
“Oh, I usually finish my Saturday workout at 4ish, so how about 5 o’clock? You can bring a bottle of wine. That could be your contribution.”
“A bottle of wine. I can handle that. I’ll be here right on the dot.”
“Great. I’ll see you then. Good night, Ryan,” she says, pecking me on the cheek.
I lean over, look up at her (remember, Cindi’s well over six feet tall) and kiss her back on the lips. The kiss lingers for a long time, as if it’s an expression of gratitude more than a way of saying good bye. Our lips come apart and I walk out the door toward my car.
Every single memory of what just transpired during the last few hours rush back to me. I don’t think I’ll be able to fully comprehend what I just experienced until tomorrow morning. I return to my car, start the engine and look back to see Cindi waving at me. I wave back as I drive off toward I-5. My evening with Cindi North has just come to an end.
And what a night it was.
The drive home did not take long. I drive carefully, seeing numerous cop cars on patrol looking for drunks. Finally, I reach my apartment and release a deep sigh as I close the door. I really need a shower. Badly. All that oral sex made me sweat bullets. I probably lost a lot of weight between sweating in anticipation, sweating during our bedroom time and my two ejaculations. Holy shit. Did all that just happen to me?
After turning on the hot water I undress and look down at my penis. My small Asian penis. I look at it not with scorn or embarrassment (as I would in a gym locker room), but with pride. Hell, my little penis was inside a strong, muscular woman’s mouth not too long ago. That’s quite an accomplishment for someone who’s still technically a virgin (I guess you need to do the whole “vaginal penetration” thing before you officially lose your virginity). Tonight, I look at my small penis proudly.
“We did it, little buddy. Maybe not all the way, but it’s a great start. We did it.”
I hop into the shower, clean myself, dry off, brush my teeth and collapse into bed. I must have fallen asleep instantly because I don’t remember much after that.