Asian – Page 2 – The Adventures of Ryan Takahashi

The Adventures of Ryan Takahashi: Chapter Seven – Oral Fixation

“Orally? You mean…”

“You know exactly what I mean,” Cindi says with a wicked grin on her face. She extends her hand toward me and lightly strokes my cheek.

I grab her hips and feel my way up and down her beautiful, bulky body. Cindi escorts us to the bed and sits us down. I inch my way closer to her, with the hesitation of a naïve child approaching a wild animal. She then spreads her legs wide and reveals her enlarged, dark brown genitalia. Completely hairless. Her vaginal lips look hot, moist, inviting and sensitive to the touch. I’ve already talked about her massive clitoris that resembles a small penis. Her clitoris is standing at attention, ready to be pleased. Dear God! Can a woman’s labia really be that big?

“Shave much down there?” I shyly ask.

“No. Waxed. Every other week.”

“Uh huh,” I respond unintelligently.

I lick my lips in anticipation of giving a woman oral sex for the first time. Hell, I’m doing a lot of things for the first time tonight! I’ve never come on a woman’s face before…

“What are you waiting for? Please me,” she commands.

Knowing this is my cue to begin; I get down on my stomach and stick my face right into her sex. Up close and personal, she looks gorgeous down there. Absolutely gorgeous.

Time to go in for the kill, Ryan!

Slowly I wrap my lips around Cindi’s clitoris and tease the tip of it with my tongue. My mind still cannot comprehend the size of her clit. Her womanhood, without a doubt, resembles a tiny manhood. I wonder, have steroids have affected its sensitivity?

I hear her moan quietly in delight. I think that answers my question.

Not knowing what to do next, I improvise by sucking her clitoris like I’m sucking liquid out of a juice box. I open my mouth and stick out my tongue to lap her labia. It feels hard like a baseball glove. Cindi’s legs squirm, making me almost fall off the bed. Not wanting to deprive her from her ecstasy, my tongue explores the inside of her vagina. This is the first time I’ve ever been inside a woman!!!

Her vaginal juices taste bitter, but not in a bad way. I can’t describe to you what it tastes like. There are certain experiences in life that cannot be put into words. This is one of them.

“I like that,” Cindi dreamily tells me.

She likes it? How much does she like it? Enough for me to continue what I’m doing? I think I’ll stroke her labia a little longer.

My tongue covers her entire inner and outer labia like I’m eating an ice cream cone. So this is why they call it “eating out.” I’ve only seen this sort of thing done in porn. I hope all those hours watching free online porn have properly “trained” me for this moment.

Cindi’s legs aren’t squirming like they were. Maybe I should go back to her clitoris. I return to her massive clit by pressing against it with my entire tongue. A deep groan tears from her throat the moment this happens. I think this is a movement I should keep doing!

Her breathing increases in both volume and intensity as I continue to tease her clitoris with my mouth. Sucking, licking and pressing with my entire mouth, I can sense the tension building up inside of her. She struggles to control her body. Here I am, in total domination over this powerful female bodybuilder. She is weakened by my tongue.

I can get used to this!

I increase the pace of my licking as Cindi’s orgasm begins to build toward its inevitable peak. It’s going to be a powerful one, no doubt about it. Her moans grow louder as she reaches the point of no return.

“Ahhhhgggggg!!!!!!” she screams in delight.

Her climax is potent. I feel her vaginal walls contract powerfully. Cindi’s heavy breathing stops as she enjoys her orgasm. Finally, her contractions subside and she is left breathing deeply with contentment.

My lips wet from her juices, I lap them with my tired tongue and get on my knees to look at Cindi. Her eyes are closed, smiling with childish delight. She looks like she just won the lottery. I look down and see my penis is hard as a rock.

“Can I kiss you?” I ask.

“Do it.”

Our lips join together as my manhood lies across her abdominal muscles. I swear I can actually feel her six-pack (or is it eight-pack?) against my penis.

We come apart and stare into each other’s eyes.

“Thank you,” Cindi sincerely says.

“You’re welcome,” I sincerely reply back.

Our eyes meet for what seems like an eternity. She may not be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, but in this moment, she looks very pretty. Nobody might agree with me, but when she smiles, Cindi can be very pretty.

“I want to return the favor.”

“You mean, you want to…”

“Yes. To you. I masturbate a lot, but nothing beats the feel of a real person pleasuring you. I want to please you now.”

Cindi gets up and out of the bed. Her muscles appear more relaxed and less tense. She looks at the condom sitting on her dresser drawer. I know what she’s thinking.

“Should we use it?” she asks.

“Would it make you feel safer if we did?”

“Not necessarily. I trust you.”

Trust. That’s a dangerous thing to have for a stranger you just met.

“You trust me? Thank you,” I say.

“You’re welcome. I won’t use the condom. Not tonight. Maybe later when we make love for real.”

Cindi reaches over and picks me up like a mother holding her baby. I feel powerless in her strong arms. She kisses me and lays me down on the bed with my back resting comfortably against her pillows. Taking my former position, Cindi spreads my legs and stares down my erect penis. Will I last longer than I did last time? I sure hope so.

Gently, Cindi grabs the base of my penis and strokes up and down my shaft. Memories of what happened the last time she did this start to flood back.

“Let’s see how long you last this time,” she teases.

“You better get some Kleenex ready just in case.”

Cindi giggles at this remark.

“I have a feeling you’re going to be just fine, lover.”

And just like that, Cindi takes my entire manhood in her mouth and closes her lips around me. I start to squirm just like she did when I covered my mouth around her clit. What comes around goes around, as they say.

She experiments with a few tongue lashes against the head of my penis which cause me to groan in delight. Cindi is absolutely right. I’ve masturbated plenty of times in my life, but nothing beats the feeling of a real woman stimulating you.

As she continues to please my penis, I think at this moment I’ve officially lasted longer than I did before. Cindi’s mouth moves up and down my shaft in a slow, sensual manner. She is in no rush to bring me to climax. I am also in no rush to reach my climax.

I have no choice but to close my eyes and experience every sensual moment like it will be my last. The feel of her mouth covering my manhood is divine. All the insecurities I have about my penis size dissipate as her tongue sweeps across my manhood’s sensitive tip. Her gentle tickling of my scrotum with her fingers makes me to let out another loud moan.

With her free hand, Cindi brushes her other fingers across my lips. I take her middle finger inside my mouth and suck it with the same force she is sucking my manhood. The fact that my dainty Asian penis is being sucked by a powerful female bodybuilder is a realization that has not fully sunk in yet.

My orgasm builds and I sense my climax is not far off. Cindi must sense the same thing because she immediately stops sucking and kisses up my shaft from the bottom up. When she reaches the tip, she stops and looks at me.

“I want you to come on my stomach. Can you do that?”

“You want me to come on your abs?”

“Yes, my abs. Are you okay with that?”

The luxurious pleasure I was experiencing is causing me to barely comprehend what she’s saying. If she’s making a specific sexual request, I can’t say “no” to her.

“Sure. I’m okay with anything.”

“Good. You’re close to the end, right?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m very close.”

“You know what? I’m okay with you calling me ma’am. It’s kind of a turn-on.”

Before I can respond, Cindi grabs my shoulders and hauls my body upright to a kneeling position. Experiencing her brute strength is almost enough to make me come right then and there. She lies on her back and wraps her dominating legs around my waist.

“Oh, Cindi…” I wail to her.

Feeding off my desire and my pure lust for her, Cindi grips my penis and strokes it. I feel the anticipation of my climax building to a wild frenzy. I’ve never felt pleasure like this before in my life. The nerve endings in my manhood explode with every lingering stroke of her mighty hand.

I look down and see her impeccably chiseled eight-pack abs flexing in front of me. Every individual abdominal muscle on her tummy is bulging with eagerness of receiving my seed.

“Come for me, Ryan. Come for me!” Cindi yells passionately.

With one last hard stroke, I finally come and release several powerful squirts of my hot semen onto her eight-pack abs. Shivers roll down my spine as Cindi continues to grip my penis until every last drop spurts out. I look at her tummy and see every inch of her perfect abs is covered in my seed.

“Rub it in.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Rub it in!”

I reach down with both hands and massage my semen into her skin. It forms a hard and sticky shell over her statuesque abs. I fall onto my back the moment she releases my softened penis from her grip.

“Thank you. I appreciate it,” she says.

“I should be thanking you! That was amazing. It felt divine.”

“You weren’t too bad yourself. I think you released more this time around. You covered my entire abs. Good job, Ryan.”

“You’re welcome,” I murmur breathlessly.

Cindi gets up off the bed and goes for the bathroom to wash my semen off her body for the second time tonight. But this time it’s expected. As she wets a paper towel and washes her midsection, I look at my little penis and smile at it triumphantly.

“Looks like we redeemed ourselves, buddy,” I utter under my breath to my manhood.

“What was that, darling?” Cindi asks from the bathroom.

“Nothing. I was just talking to myself.”

“I think I overheard what you said. Were you talking to your penis?”

Oh great. Caught! Well, I better fess up and admit to it.

“Yeah, I was talking to it. I was saying that I think we redeemed ourselves.”

“You did. You definitely lasted longer than the first time. And I’ll have to admit; usually I don’t like giving oral sex. But I had a lot of fun with you.”

“Really? What made it more fun with me?” I casually ask, still basking in the glow of the moment.

“Hm. I’d rather not say. You might not like it.”

“Go ahead. Tell me. You said you enjoyed giving me oral. I want to know why.”

Cindi exits the bathroom and walks straight to me. She sits down on the bed and lightly strokes my soft manhood.

“To be honest, usually I hate giving oral because it’s too much to put in my mouth. But with you…um, you…”

Oh shit. I think I know where she’s getting at!

“You mean, I’m small down there, so you were able to fit it all into your mouth,” I chime in.

There is a very long and awkward pause.

“Yes,” Cindi says.

Fuck.

25 Things About My Sexuality

On March 24, 2012 yours truly was featured on the blog 25 Things About My Sexuality.

25 Things About My Sexuality is a blog where people anonymously submit 25 facts about their sexuality, much like that Facebook trend a few years back when people wrote notes expressing 25 (or 15 or 16, depending on how you first heard of this trend) interesting facts about themselves.

People are very open about themselves on this blog, mostly because talking about one’s own sexuality can be very liberating and because of the blanket of anonymity that goes with it. Nobody knows your name or where you live. What they do know about you is everything from your sexual orientation to how you lost your virginity to what kinds of dildos you prefer. Reading through these posts can be very enlightening, completely voyeuristic, a bit disturbing and sometimes hilarious.

I submitted my 25 facts to the blog’s editor and you can read them here or down below. You will definitely see how many similarities I share with my alter-ego, Ryan Takahashi. Enjoy!

1. I am a 25 year old heterosexual Japanese American man.

2. I am single and have never had a girlfriend. I reside in the Pacific Northwest and could very well be a victim of the infamous “Seattle freeze” syndrome where people in this city have a difficult time making friends. Maybe it’s the rain that brings us all down emotionally.

3. I am a virgin (laugh all you want!).

4. Please don’t get the image in your mind that I’m a hopeless loser who can’t talk to women. I can talk to women and have plenty female friends. I can be a bit shy and introverted at times, but the major reason why I’ve never had sex before is due to Item #4.

5. I grew up in a conservative Christian household. My mom is a moderate but my dad is definitely on the right side of the religious spectrum. I love them both and would never trade them for different parents. I grew up in the church believing sex outside of marriage is a sin that can lead to damnation in Hell. Though I’m a Protestant, I definitely have that “Catholic guilt” complex going on in my life even as an adult. I still go to church (I go to my mom’s church), but I don’t go as often as I did when I was a child. I still believe in God, even though I tend to question the church’s teachings.

6. I went to a private Christian university and received a great education there. I’m definitely a proud alumnus. But as expected, casual sex was not something that happened openly on my campus. Yes, non-marital sex does happen there, but it isn’t nearly as prevalent as it is on other campuses across America.

7. A smaller reason why I am still a virgin, outside of religious guilt, is my ethnicity. I’m Asian. And we all know the stereotype associated with Asian men: They all have small penises. It’s a stereotype that I openly laugh at and joke about in public (when I’m with friends, of course), but it’s a stereotype that deeply hurts me inside. The “Asian Men Have Baby Penises” stereotype goes deeper than just external anatomy. It desexualizes Asian men and places us in the category of being “less than a man” or “not a real man.” This social emasculation gives me a somewhat low self-esteem in the romance/sex department. I need to work on changing that.

8. Though there are plenty of exceptions, I find in my life that white Caucasian women are far less likely to date an Asian man than a man of any other race. Though interracial relationships are more common today than it used to be, the white woman/Asian man dynamic is still a very rare occurrence.

9. Related to Item #6 (this is more of a long essay than a list of 25 Things!), I find women of all colors to be beautiful. White, black, brown, red, yellow or mixed, women are unbelievably beautiful creatures. While most of my crushes have been on young Asian women (my current crush is a young lady who is half Japanese and half white), a gorgeous woman of any race or ethnicity will make my head turn. While I personally understand why some people prefer one race over the other, my sexual attraction is colorblind.

10. While my sexual attraction is colorblind, my preference in relationships is not. For reasons I cannot explain, I’d prefer to settle down with an Asian woman than a woman of any other color. Does this make me racist or tribalist? Perhaps. This unexplainable preference slightly bothers me.

11. Returning to the subject of Asian men and penis size, I am somewhat of a gym rat and spend anywhere between 6 to 8 hours at the gym per week working out. I mostly lift weights and do light cardio and stretching. While I don’t look anything like a bodybuilder or a professional athlete by any stretch of the imagination (I love watching football and baseball, but playing sports has never been my strength), I think I look fairly good naked. But my major insecurity when naked is that little penis hanging between my legs.

12. Is my penis really small? Truthfully, probably not. But that belief is so ingrained in my psyche that I believe it is. There’s an old joke that guys who have small penises drive large trucks and SUVs to compensate. Because I drive a medium-sized sedan, I compensate by building muscles at the gym. My toned body is my way of compensating. I have no idea if it works.

13. I’ve come to define my fear of having a small penis as “Small Penis Syndrome.” Those who suffer from SPS don’t necessarily have a small penis; they just think they do. SPS is all psychological and has little to do with reality.

14. Speaking of going to the gym, in the locker room I do what every guy does: I do research to see how I “measure” up. As far as my empirical observations go, flaccid penises come in all shapes and sizes. What really matters is the size of an erect penis, which of course no one has in a locker room. That would be awkward. But my casual observations lean toward Asian guys tending to have smaller endowments than our white, black and Latino peers. Is it true that black men have larger penises? Maybe. Some of the black guys that work out at my gym seem to be very well endowed.

15. I have two main fetishes that I don’t consider to be that odd: older women and female bodybuilders.

16. Being attracted to older women is pretty normal and has been explained many times. Older women are seen as more experienced, in need of sexual liberation (or awakening), it’s taboo, it’s looked down upon by society at large, etc. I won’t go into much detail about this.

17. Attraction toward female bodybuilders is a little less common but still not too far out there. I love women with large muscles. I find them incredibly sexy. I don’t find skinny, bony women to be that attractive. A thick, strong woman with big, bulging muscles is a major turn-on. Though I’ve never personally met an FBB, I’ve seen toned, athletic women at the gym. And trust me, they make it difficult to concentrate on my workout.

18. My idea of heaven on Earth would be to spend the night with a female bodybuilder. Just Google Lisa Cross, Karen Zaremba, Lynn McCrossin, Yvette Bova, Victoria Dominguez or Denise Masino to get an idea of what I’m talking about.

19. I watch porn occasionally, but what really turns me on is reading sexy scenes from romance books. Romance books written by women are preferable. One chapter out of a Linda Howard novel can turn me on more than watching an hour of mind-numbing predictable porn. I find most porn to be boring or disgusting.

20. I sometimes watch porn to see how well-endowed the male performers are. Some are very large, others appear more normal. Because I’m not attracted to men, I have no idea what sizes of penises straight women and gay men prefer to see in their porn.

21. I think there should be more Asian men doing porn, which is odd considering I don’t consider doing porn to be that noble of a profession. The more we see Asian men as sexual beings, the better society will become (and the dating pool for me!).

22. When I do watch or look at porn, I usually search for muscular women. Whether it’s two FBBs doing a lesbian scene, an FBB going solo or an FBB having sex with a man or fellow male bodybuilder, I prefer to see a muscular woman in action than a skinny, surgery-enhanced girl with fake breasts.

23. Speaking of which, I am not terribly crazy about breasts. I find a woman with small breasts to be more beautiful than a woman with large melons on her chest. And I consider myself to be a leg guy. A great pair of legs will make me go crazy. If the stereotype is that Asian men have small penises, there’s also the hurtful stereotype that Asian women have small breasts. I would imagine this stereotype would hurt them just as much as the small penis stereotype hurts me.

24. I masturbate about 4 to 5 times a week. Since I was 12, I’ve masturbated using the same method: I lay face-down naked in my bed and rub my penis against the mattress till climax. Essentially, this simulates missionary sex. Never once have I manually stimulated myself to orgasm, which is how we normally picture male masturbation.

25. And now, a factoid you’ve all been waiting for: When erect, my penis is 5.5 inches long and 4.75 inches in circumference. There you go. Is that small? Or normal? Or in between? I’ll let you decide.

The Adventures of Ryan Takahashi: Chapter Three – Saturday Night Gmail Chat

6:30 p.m.

Tick, tick, tick…

6:31 p.m.

Tick, tick, tick…

6:32 p.m.

Tick, tick, tick…

6:33 p.m.

Arg! When will it be 8 o’clock? The wait is killing me!

Sigh. I really need to take a chill pill. Or down a shot of whiskey. I need to do something to calm my nerves. I can’t remember the last time I’ve ever anticipated something quite like this. Not even the release of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace as an eagerly geeky 12-year-old boy can top this. Yeah, that about sums it up.

So…where is that bottle of scotch?

Let’s hope, unlike Episode I, this chat with Cindi isn’t a colossal disappointment. I still need to keep in mind that Cindi might not even be a real person. It’s possible “she” could be a Craigslist scammer trying to pry money out of my female muscle-obsessed hands.

God, I hope not!

The more I look at her picture the more I fall in love with her. Wow, did I just use the word “love?” How can I love somebody I’ve never met? Can you fall in love with someone when a single e-mail exchange is the total extent of your relationship?

I also need to remember that even if she is real, she doesn’t appear to be looking for a long-term relationship. She wants a “young Asian male for a night of NSA sex,” to quote her Craigslist ad. Does she want to “test ride” me to see if I fit her standards? What standards is she using? Attractiveness? Sexual performance? Intelligence? All of the above? None of the above?

6:45 p.m.

Good. Time is moving.

Maybe I should go on Gmail right now and see if she’s on. Even though she said 8 o’clock, if she sees we’re on at the same time, maybe she’ll want to chat earlier. Let’s give it a try.

I log in to my Gmail account and check out who’s active. So far, not a whole lot. I see Annie Nakamura is on. She’s an old friend who’s essentially the female version of myself. We’re the same age and grew up together. We went to the same daycare, church, school and college. We’ve gone on a few dates before but we never crossed that threshold into “boyfriend/girlfriend.” Maybe it’s because we’re practically brother and sister. It feels weird dating someone you’ve known your whole life.

I don’t know for sure, but I’m going to assume Annie is a virgin like me. She’s never had a boyfriend, much like I’ve never had a girlfriend. She’s quiet, moderately cute, not terribly outspoken and spends way too much time practicing the piano. She’s a wizard at the piano. You should have listened to her senior recital. I’m not much of a music guy, but it blew me and everybody in attendance away. That girl can play.

Like a lot of Japanese girls, Annie is short, petite and has very small breasts. Her breasts are so small, I don’t even know if she wears a bra. I’ve known her all her life and I can never recall a “blossoming” period. But I don’t count that against her. She’s sort of cute and very smart and kind-hearted. She’ll make some guy very happy someday. But not me.

I’ve often thought about the possibility of dating her. This is sort of an awkward subject for us. Neither of us has ever said we want to enter into a relationship. However, neither of us has ever said we don’t want to enter into a relationship. It’s a topic we keep quiet so it doesn’t affect our friendship. Maybe it’s best we stay friends.

But am I “friend-zoning” her? Does she want to be boyfriend/girlfriend but she’s too timid to ask me? Annie is not the type of person who will open up about her feelings. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not a boring person, but she just doesn’t wear her emotions on her sleeves.

Heck, this should tell you something about us. Here it is, a Saturday night, and the two of us are on Gmail chat instead of socializing with friends. What sucks is that she lives in Tacoma and I live in Seattle so we don’t get to see each other very often. Maybe if we lived closer we’d be able to explore our relationship further. But that doesn’t appear to be happening any time soon.

As usual, neither of us wants to chat. Oh, Annie just left. Now it’s just me.

6:53 p.m.

Can time move any slower?

It still perplexes me that Cindi North is nowhere to be found on search engines. I know some people do everything possible to make themselves invisible. Some go as far as to hire a web expert. But why would Cindi do such a thing? Is she a fugitive from the law?

I then look at my Gmail chat list and see Cindi North has just checked in! Holy crap! She’s on now! What do I do? Do I do nothing? Or should I initiate the contact? In her e-mail message she never says who is expected to initiate the conversation. Should I message her and ask if she’s available to chat? Or would that come off as being desperate? Or is this a test to see if I’d message her first, which would tell her I’m earnest in my interest in her? I hate mind games. Or maybe this isn’t a mind game at all…

Suddenly a chat box pops up from a “Cindi North.”

Well, that puts an end to all that speculation.

Her message reads “Ryan! Do you want to talk now?”

I sure do! I respond with “Yes! I’m free to talk now.”

I wait a few seconds which seem like hours. Finally, she writes “Great! How are you doing?”

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet! She wants to chat now, not an hour from now. Our conversation thread unfolds like this:

Me: I’m doing awesome! How are you?

Cindi: Spectacular! I got a good workout in today.

Me: Me too. Where do you work out?

Cindi: I work out at the Everyday Fitness in Everett. You live in Seattle, right?

Me: Yes, I do.

(I instantly open a new screen and Google “Everyday Fitness” in Everett. The place is real, apparently. It’s a small chain with five locations across western Washington and one randomly in Kentucky. I click on their company website to see if they have any photos of famous clients. Gyms that are frequented by professional bodybuilders almost always post photos of them to show they’re a legit place to be.)

Cindi: I like your photo. We should meet up. You okay with that?

Me: I’m very okay with that. Who are you, exactly?

Cindi: I’m Cindi.

Me: I know that. But are you a real bodybuilder?

Cindi: I am. Do you think I’m lying?

Me: I Googled you and nothing came up.

(As I type this, I see there are no photos of famous patrons. In fact, there aren’t much photos of anything. This website sucks.)

Cindi: Cindi North is my birth name. But when I work I use a different name.

(Hm. She’s toying with me. She speaks in short, direct sentences and prods me to ask further questions. This doesn’t smell right.)

Me: I’m not saying you’re a liar. I just think it’s weird for someone not to have an online presence these days.

Me: You can’t blame me for doing research, huh? 😉

(There is a long pause. Finally she begins to type again.)

Cindi: My bodybuilding name is Grace Gonzalez.

(Holy shit! Grace Gonzalez? I recognize her! She’s put up some crazy awesome YouTube videos showing her deadlifting 500 pounds and doing some freakish Turkish Getups. I close the Everyday Fitness website and Google Grace Gonzalez. Sure enough, she has a much larger online presence. I enter her personal website and read her biography.)

Me: Wow! You’re really Grace Gonzalez?

Cindi: Yes! That’s me. Cindi North is the name my adopted parents gave me. I never knew my biological parents but I always knew I had some Puerto Rican blood in me. I go by Grace Gonzalez to honor my heritage.

(According to her website, Grace “was born and raised in Los Angeles, California and has been currently living in the Pacific Northwest for the past two years.”)

Me: That’s so cool. I was a little concerned when I researched “Cindi North” and nothing came up. 🙂

Cindi: No problem. LOL

Cindi: If you didn’t look me up, I’d be worried.

Cindi: Do you like strong women?

(Goodness. She won’t let me respond fast enough.)

Me: I love strong women. I especially love muscular women like you.

Cindi: Have you ever met a woman as strong as me?

Me: No, ma’am. I’ve never met an FBB before.

Cindi: It looks like you’re interested. I’m looking for NSA sex, understand?

Me: Yes.

Cindi: I’m not looking for a relationship.

Me: I know.

Cindi: Are you looking for a relationship?

Me: I’m not looking for anything that’s beyond my reach.

(Pause)

Cindi: Smart answer. I like you already. You know your boundaries. I like that in a man.

(She likes that in a man? So she’s interested in men, huh? Her bio claims that she’s “Interested in: Women.” Is she a true lesbian or is she bisexual? Maybe she lies on her website in order to avoid horny muscle-loving men like me!)

Me: You use proper grammar and punctuation when chatting. I like that in a woman.

Cindi: LOL! You’re funny. Do you approve of “LOL?”

Me: Traditionally, no. But I’ll make an exception in your case.

(There is a very long pause. I feel a drip of sweat roll off my cheek.)

Cindi: Let’s meet at my house. I live in north Everett. Do you want to visit tonight?

(My heart stops. She wants to meet me at her house? TONIGHT??????)

Me: I’d love to.

Cindi: Great! Make sure to bring protection!

(I can supply condoms, no problem. Holy fuck. I almost never swear, but this merits an f-bomb. She really wants to meet me at her house right now?)

Cindi gives me her home address and I type it into Google Maps like a madman. She wishes me “good luck” and says I can come over as soon as possible. This shit is getting real, folks! She then leaves Gmail chat. I stare at the computer monitor in still silence.

So…I have her address, her real name, her fake name and that’s about it. I can spend time Googling “Grace Gonzalez,” but I don’t have time for that! I recognize her, so that should be enough to guarantee my safety. Now is the time for me to live out my dream.

I feel my penis harden as I think about having sex with her. Wow! I’m about to make love to an FBB! I want to shout this at the top of my lungs, but that would not go over well with the other people in my apartment building. I have better things to do than to cause a disturbance.

I grab my box of condoms, look in the mirror, inspect my appearance, put on my coat, grab my car keys and head out the door.