2015 in review – The Adventures of Ryan Takahashi

Year in Review 2015 - Lindsay Mulinazzi
Lindsay Mulinazzi would like to wish you a Happy New Year!

Another year of blogging in the books. That means what exactly? Not much, because most bloggers consider the date they published their first post (in my case, May 23, 2012) as more of a milestone than Dec. 31 or Jan. 1.

Nevertheless, here is my 2015 Year in Review. Thank you, WordPress!

Admittedly, I didn’t blog nearly as much this year as I’d like. I promise to create more content in 2016 and do a better job at responding to comments and e-mails. I can be the worst at responding to e-mail messages. There are only so many hours in my day. I can’t engage in thoughtful, intelligent conversation with all of you, can I?

Perhaps I can. I suppose my New Year’s Resolution for 2016 should be to be more conscientious about communicating with my readers when they cordially reach out to me. Yes, that sounds like a plan. It’s not like my life will be more or less busy moving forward. But that sounds like an excuse, doesn’t it?

I hope 2016 rocks your socks off. Party on!

Here’s an excerpt:

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 130,000 times in 2015. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 6 days for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Muscle Worship, Female Bodybuilders and the Greatest 75 Minutes of My Life (Epilogue)

Muscle beauty Flavia Crisos. As you know, none of the women featured in this post is GFBB. Her identity will always remain a secret.
Muscle beauty Flavia Crisos. As you know, none of the women featured in this post is GFBB. Her identity will always remain a secret.

The moment I realize I had forgotten to take a picture of her, I quickly shoot GFBB a text asking her if she’d be willing to send me a photo of herself.

Thoughts started to flood through my mind: Is this a creepy request? Would she be afraid I’d post this on Facebook or somewhere else and people would see it? Is she protective over her image and would refuse? Would she interpret this request as me bothering her (and perhaps becoming obsessed with her)? Will she think I’m being creepy?

Time passes. I hear nothing from her for a long time. Maybe she’s going to sleep. Maybe she’s ignoring me. Maybe I crossed a line by sending her this text…

Finally, GFBB responds. She says she fell asleep before I texted her. Ah ha! This is her exact message:

Sorry fell asleep . I will send u a pic and its not creepy  But that’s because it’s u asking

Whew! That solves that mystery. I knew we developed a positively rapport. I guess all my fretting was all for naught.

So off to bed I went. I brushed my teeth, took a shower, checked my email one more time and finally crashed into a peaceful slumber. Ah, bliss. My life resumed as normal afterward. I went to work the next day. That evening, GFBB sends me a text at 8:19 p.m. PST with the photo I had requested. It appears to have been taken at a hotel room (perhaps by one of her clients). It wasn’t the highest quality picture, but since receiving it I’ve treasured it as it were a precious family heirloom.

Lovely biceps of Zoa Linsey.
Lovely biceps of Zoa Linsey.

If I’m bored and have nothing else to do (usually when I’m at the train station waiting to get home from work), I’ll occasionally get out my phone and look at her photo. Then all the memories of our 75 minutes together would start flooding back.

Sentimental value, perhaps? Yeah, without a doubt!

All joking aside, life went on as it always did. I enjoyed a restful weekend. And come Monday, it was back to the normal grind. No more female bodybuilders, muscle worship sessions or playful text conversations with strong beautiful women for me for a while. I had my fun. Now it was time to see what came next.

Life can be full of unexpected adventures, n’est-ce pas?

***

So now I take you to the present day. At the time of this blog post’s publication, it is May 23, 2014. My fateful session (or is it “appointment?”) with GFBB was on May 23, 2013. Exactly one year ago today.

Wow. One year ago when I had my session with GFBB. While it does feel like a year ago, it’s funny how certain specific moments – even the trivial ones – are as sharp in my memory as ever before.

The first time I looked at her. When we sat down to chat. When the session finally started. When I got to kiss her. When she sent me the text with her photo attached to it.

I can remember the exact spot where I was when I opened that text. It’s funny how innocuous details like that stay with you forever after everything else more “important” passes on. Perhaps this is our brain’s way of telling us what’s really important in our lives.

Asian muscle Goddess Kiana Phi.
Asian muscle Goddess Kiana Phi.

Have I changed at all as a person as a result of this amazing muscle worship session with an equally amazing lady? The truth is, not really. I have changed a bit, but perhaps not as dramatically as I’d like to think. It is true that I’ve become bolder in pursuing adventures and opportunities that benefit me. It is true that I’ve had muscle worship sessions with three other FBBs (while I’ve enjoyed all of them, GFBB still holds a special place in my heart). It is true that my eyes have been opened to a whole other world I never knew before.

But, at the end of the day, I’m still the same person I was the moment before I knocked on her hotel door 365 days ago. In the past year, I’ve never returned to the parking lot of the hotel we met at; even though it’s a mere five minutes away from my apartment. There’s something special about your “first time” that you want to remain special. It wouldn’t feel right to return back there, even for sentimental purposes.

Speaking of sentimentality, that’s probably how I’ll always remember the 75 greatest minutes of my life. Was it truly the greatest hour and fifteen minutes of my time here on Earth? Eh, who knows…but that’s not the point. My feelings, thoughts and unorthodox “friendship” I developed with GFBB will always be a sweet dream that I’ll recount for many years moving forward. That’s valuable unto itself.

I’m still a fairly shy person. I still haven’t had much luck when it comes to women and romance. I’m still looking for full-time employment, although I’m reasonably getting by just fine working at two part-time jobs.

Who wouldn't want to touch the muscles of Monica Martin?
Who wouldn’t want to touch the muscles of Monica Martin?

I’m still Ryan Takahashi. That part hasn’t changed. I’m still me.

But, I’m not the same person I was leading up to 7 p.m. on 5/23/2013. Yes, I realize I’m contradicting myself, but bear with me for a moment. I may still be myself, but something tangibly is different. My muscle worship session with GFBB was, to be honest, one of the first times I’d ever done anything really selfish in my whole life. I paid $360 on something that was purely for me…and nobody else.

It was selfish. It was hedonistic. It was a “treat” I gave myself as a reward for being…well, me.

I deserve the opportunity to express my sexuality, aren’t I? I’m allowed to touch the beautiful muscles of a strong, gorgeous woman if we both consent to the circumstances? Of course!

Later on I will write a blog post exclusively about the concept of muscle worship itself, so I will delve further into this particular social phenomenon at a later date. But for this Epilogue, all I can say is this:

I love female muscle. I love strong women. And I can honestly say that reality definitely matches up with fantasy when it comes to experiencing female muscle up close and personal.

The incomparable Elena Oana Hreapca.
The incomparable Elena Oana Hreapca.

GFBB is a great lady. We briefly exchanged emails months later when she randomly discovered my blog and asked me about it (“Guilty as charged!”). But that’s the extent of our post-session communication. We’ve never spoken again. She hasn’t come back to Seattle since. I don’t know if I’ll ever get a chance to see her again.

If I do, great. If I don’t, well, that’s the way things are. No one ever knows how life will sort itself out. Perhaps our paths will cross again. Or perhaps not. But regardless, I’ll always have my memories. Sweet, sweet memories:

The giddiness of emailing with her.

The nervousness I felt during the week leading up to my session.

The anticipation of waiting in the parking lot.

The deep breath I took before I knocked on her door.

My heart stopping when I first laid eyes on her.

The pleasantness of chatting with her and getting to know her.

The awkwardness of getting started with the session.

The sensual pleasure I experienced during those 75 minutes.

The elation I felt immediately after our session came to a close.

The romanticized maudlin feelings I feel whenever I look at that grainy cell phone picture of her.

All of it. I love reflecting on all of it. I don’t think any future muscle worship session will ever come close to surpassing what I experienced one year ago today. That’s not a negative reflection on all the other FBB out there. No, instead it’s a reflection on my magical “first time” and how that experience can never be replicated. Nor should it ever be replicated. The fact it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience makes it that much sweeter.

If I had to summarize the whole experience in one single word, it would be this:

Damn.

The Adventures of Ryan Takahashi: Chapter One – A Friday Night on Craigslist

It was a dream come true.

There it was, right in front of me on Craigslist. A personal ad that was almost too good to be true. So good, I’m almost positive it’s a joke.

Nothing could be this perfect. Nothing at all. This was the equivalency of a billion dollars falling from the sky and landing right in my lap with no one around to fight me for it. Heck, this was WAY better than that.

The ad reads:

“FBB seeking young Asian male for a night of NSA sex. Please send pic of yourself and I will send you a pic right back.”

If my knowledge of acronyms is correct, “FBB” stands for “female bodybuilder” and “NSA” stands for “no strings attached” (it also stands for “National Security Agency,” but somehow I doubt this has anything to do with protecting the home front).

So there you have it. Supposedly, there is a female bodybuilder in my area who’s specifically looking for a young Asian male for a night of no strings attached sex. This is too good to be true (I think I’ve said this before). This is just like a billion boxes of take-out teriyaki falling from the sky and not a single person around to laugh at this horrible stereotype.

So here I sit at my computer desk reading this particular Craigslist ad on a Friday evening. The time is currently 7:21 p.m. I decide to respond to the ad.

There’s a photo of me that my mom took last month during our family vacation to Hawaii. It has me with my shirt off wearing a swimsuit. I think I look fairly decent in it, so this will do. I’ll omit the fact that my mom took it. I don’t think women find that particularly flattering in a man.

My name is Ryan Takahashi. I’m 23 years old and a recent college graduate still looking for a full-time job. I have a part-time job as a janitor at a gym; a position quite suited for someone with a degree in history (please note my sarcasm). If this woman is local, it’s possible I may have seen her at the gym. But that seems doubtful. I haven’t seen any female bodybuilders there. I’ve seen some guys who look like bodybuilders, but none of the female persuasion. Maybe she works out somewhere else.

Or maybe she’s lying. Maybe “she” is some teenage kid who thinks it’ll be funny to pose as a muscular lady to entice some poor schmuck like me into sending them a tacky-looking photo. I sure hope not.

Here’s what my e-mail message to this woman looks like:

Dear FBB,

My name is Ryan and I am responding to your Craigslist ad. I am a 23-year-old Japanese American male who is single and ready to meet someone new. You sound like an interesting person judging from your ad and your specific needs. I’ve attached a photograph of myself that I hope shows off what I look like. I hope I fit what a woman like you is looking for in a man.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Ryan

This sounds genuine enough. I tell her just enough about myself and don’t sound desperate. I refer to her as a “woman” instead of a “girl,” something that should score huge points for me. If I learned one thing in college, it’s that in our post-feminist society, calling an adult woman a “girl” is a sure ticket to being labeled as a misogynist (or some other similar euphemism). I guess I’m more aware of these things than most people.

Now all I have to do is click “send.”

Deep breath. Calm down, Ryan. What’s the worst that could happen? You’re using an alternate e-mail account separate from your personal one. If she’s a fraud, so what? Just don’t give her your bank account number. If she thinks you’re butt ugly, move on and pretend like this never happened. Drink a few shots of whiskey and call it a night. There’s no pressure in clicking “send.”

Whew.

Here goes nothing.

Click.

Your Message Has Been Sent.

Bingo.

Now the waiting game begins. What should I do?

Play video games? Jog around the block a few times? Take a shower? Watch something on Netflix? Waste time on YouTube? Explore what’s on Technorati? I could read a book.

Wow. Books. There’s something I haven’t picked up in a while. And that’s embarrassing considering I’m a history major. Maybe this explains why I work at a dead-end part-time job doing work they mostly give to people who can’t speak English. Maybe the hiring manager assumed English was my second language. That’s probably it. Bastard.

“I think I’ll take a shower,” I say out loud to myself.

I get up and push my chair into my desk. I strip naked and dump my clothes in front of my bed. I then walk into the bathroom, turn on the ceiling fan and look at myself in the full-body mirror.

Looking good, Ryan. Looking good.

“Does this female bodybuilder have a better body than me? Ha. It’s doubtful,” I say sarcastically to my reflection. My reflection seems to be in on the joke.

Thinking about the possibility of having sex with an FBB is enough to give me an erection. My penis slowly grows and stands upright at attention. I look down at my little penis that’s decided to come to life. Cute little thing. Will you get any action in the near future? We’ll see.

Dear God, having sex with an FBB would be awesome! Just imagine licking those big, hard bulging muscles while her thick, massive body surrounds me like a blanket. Then she lifts me up and plops me onto the bed as she goes down on me like a wild animal. Her massive body grinds into me like a bulldozer. Her wet vagina and enlarged clitoris enveloping my penis unmercifully. Her vaginal muscles are so strong I can feel her climax from head to toe. Her-

“I should probably take this shower before I come all over the floor.”

I turn on the hot water, close the shower curtains and clean off the grime of the day.

During my shower all I can think about is whether this mysterious Craigslist character will respond. Will it be some lame automatic response that clearly isn’t a real person? That would suck big time. Or will it be written in broken English by someone who doesn’t even live in the United States? That would also suck. I hope I don’t have to wait until tomorrow evening. Or next week. That would suck even more.

After my shower I choose not to put on my clothes and instead walk around completely naked. I love doing this after a shower. My body feels clean and I want to go about the rest of my business in my birthday suit. It can be a very liberating feeling.

As I began to wash some of the dishes in my sink, I hear a “ding” sound from my computer. This sound means I have a new e-mail in my inbox.

Holy crap! It could be her!

I placed the dishes back into the sink and race toward my computer. Sure enough, I do have a new e-mail message. There’s no subject line. And it’s from a “Cindi North.”

Cindi North? Never heard of this woman. My heart rate increases rapidly as I open her message.

Her e-mail reads as follows:

Dear Ryan,

I’m glad you responded to my Craigslist message! My name is Cindi and I would love to chat with you online sometime! I can’t tonight because I’m going to be busy early tomorrow morning, but if you could be on Gmail at 8:00 tomorrow night, we could get to know each other.

Hugs and kisses. XOXO

Thank you for sending me a pic. You look very handsome. Here’s a pic of me also at the beach. Enjoy! Good night, Ryan.

Love,

Cindi

P.S.: Are you married? I hope you’re not. I don’t like drama.

She seems nice. And the message seems like it was written by a real person, not a computerized program. Now I have to open her photo.

Catching my breath, I hover the mouse over the JPEG photo and click on it.

The image opens in a new window and fills nearly the entire screen. I look at it eagerly.

Damn.

No, seriously. Damn.

Damn.

Damn!

DAMN!!!

DAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She’s gorgeous! And very muscular! She’s perfect! There’s no doubt she’s an FBB.

Looking at her photo literally steals my breath. I take a deep inhale, exhale and look at the picture again.

She’s wearing sunglasses and a skimpy red bikini. She’s standing on a white sandy beach on a perfect sunny day. I can’t tell where she is, but she is the only person in the photo. It’s difficult to say how tall she is because there’s no one around to compare her with. She looks anywhere between 5’3” and 5’8”. I could be totally wrong about this.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She has long dark brown hair and tanned skin. She appears to be Caucasian but could have some Hispanic in her. She doesn’t appear to be mixed race, but her tanned skin could be due to being in the sun too long. It’s a full body shot and exposes her entire figure. And what a figure she has!

Her entire body is covered in enormous, bulging muscles. Her biceps look like they could bend steel. Her legs appear to be as thick as tree stumps. Her six-pack abs look delicious and ready for me to stroke my tongue across. She has very small breasts which could be explained by repeated steroid use. She’s fantastically muscular and veiny all over. I like what I’m seeing.

She appears to be in her early 40s, maybe late 30s. Her dark brown hair might have some gray in it, but that could be the sun’s reflection. Then again, she could be coloring her hair. She’s definitely not in her 20s.

This Cindi woman looks very delectable! I would make love to her in an instant. I look down at my penis and see that it has hardened again. This is definitely an image that I can masturbate to in a few minutes. Not only is it hot that I’m looking at her gorgeous figure, but the fact that she just communicated with me is turning me on even more!

This beautiful muscular woman wants to have sex with me and even called me “handsome?”

SWOON!

I like her already.

I immediately turn off all the lights and leave her image on the computer screen. I pull back the covers on my bed and get in. I open my dresser drawer and take out a condom (yes, I keep a stash of condoms for the purposes of masturbation). I rip open the package, take out the condom and wrap it around my very hard penis. I toss the package in the waste basket and start rubbing my penis against the bed facing down. I look up and stare at her picture. I image her buff body pounding into my smaller body as we kiss and explore each other with our hands.

My hips move right to left at a quicker pace and I feel my orgasm build as I continue to grind my penis into the mattress. As I imagine her tongue exploring the inside of my mouth, I climax and feel several strong pulses of semen release from my manhood. My hips slow down and I collapse onto the bed with my face buried into the pillow. I catch my breath. I look up at the computer and still see Cindi’s beautiful body looking back at me. Then my computer goes into the screensaver.

Shit. Oh, well. I’m done anyway.

I get out of bed, turn on the light and pull the condom off my sagging penis. I dispose of it in the toilet, urinate, wash my hands and turn off the lights as I switch off my computer.

I definitely can’t wait for 8 p.m. tomorrow night.

I collapse into bed and immediately fall asleep.

Happy dreams are sure to follow.